all is wrong in the world

Something has to give, and if it has to be me I'm willing.
I made a mistake by watching a movie that was more real to life then I can tolerate.
For the last two days I haven't been right. I can't stop thinking about it, and I don’t want to.
I want answers! I want to know how real this is, and how close we really are to letting it happen again. I want to know why I'm so prone to feel more then most, and why those feelings seem to come true when I least expect them? Is God really going to stand by and watch me mull over these fears as long as I want to, or will He snap me out of this?

Normally watching tv of any kind is a release for me to unwind and passively move through the day. It's very helpful on days I can't get it all together. But on days when the remote magically turns to a station where movies such as: The Constant Gardner and Munich are starring me in the face, it's quite obvious that I am too sensitive to the pains of others. Why couldn't I just be an optimist and believe that none of history is actually true, and nothing bad is happening now? And why can't I see people for being all good and no bad, and all kind and no evil? I can't because I am a speaker of truth and very much a realist. No matter how much I fight or hide or run, it haunts me and tares me to bits without cause or mercy. And I am fragile in its wake because of my lack of spine.